Stages of Social Distancing

Diary of Heather Newman
Sunday, March 21, 2020
New Jersey

What a week. One for the books, as they say. Why does it feel impossible to remember things? I went to sleep on Wednesday and when I woke, it was Friday. A twilight zone moment. But I didn’t mind losing Thursday. Even though I’m 59, weekends still hold a bit of that school-kid anticipation.

I asked my husband what he wanted to do for dinner. “Let’s stay in,” he said.

We’re all getting a bit punchy. With a full house, a fully-charged iphone is my sanctuary. Business meetings, writing groups, workouts — everybody meets on Zoom. Zoom! I love the name. Wish I had thought of it. No, wish I had stock in it.

The nation is in turmoil. I take stock of my life, and am grateful for its many blessings and comforts. We all have worries, no one is exempt. Will my parents stay healthy? What about my husband’s business? Who in the community is suffering? All the news is bad so I’m trying to edit my intake. My daughter, Julia, and I light a fire and watch Broadway performers sing from their living rooms. We take a run outside and cook green Thai curry. It’s the end of the world as we know it. We dance to REM.

And we try to keep a sense of humor. In the course of one week, Julia tells me she has witnessed her mother go through the five stages of social distancing. We identify those as:

1. Oblivion. Oh, the virus. It’s probably a whole lot of nothing.

2. What the…? There’s no way. No. Way. They can’t do this.

3. As long as Wine Library stays open. Phew! Liquor stores make the bottom of Governor Phil Murphy’s list of essential retail businesses that can stay open.

4. Slap-happy. A combination of delusion and hysteria, exhibited by punch-drunk laughter, butt-dialing and 3 AM Facebook posts.

5. Lockdown. Guilt-free binge-watching, frozen food, the occasional shower.

Next week remains a mystery, but there are a few certainties. Gov. Andrew Cuomo on Monday morning. Defrost chicken. Sending out positive thoughts to all.

Heather Newman’s work has appeared (or is forthcoming) in Hanging Loose, 4x2 Barrow Street, Right Hand Pointing, The Inquisitive Eater, Voices From Here, Vol. II (Paulinskill Project), The New Verse News and more. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from The New School and teachers at The Writers Circle in NJ.